Posted by Mark Haas Jr on October 11th, 2011
“If no one is following you, you are just out for a walk.” I remember the first time I heard Orrin Woodward say that at a TEAM seminar. I thought to myself “all this Leadership skills talk is a scam.” The Next thing he said was “if you are too big to follow, you are too big to lead” Turns out I was very ignorant!
Orrin sure made me think. Because at the time, I immediately realize I had no one following me and simultaneously I realized I was following no one. Were the two related? By definition, if you are leading (as opposed to managing), you are showing someone by example. To try to get someone to follow you is impossible if you can’t show how by (you) following someone. But maybe you do lead them….you teach them how NOT to follow.
No place is this demonstrated more vividly that in the family. Growing up, my parents used to say “do as I say not as I do” I never liked when they said that. Unfortunately, they never had very good leadership in their family lives growing up. I have been blessed with the knowledge the TEAM has provided to me for over 10 years and I know how important influence depends on your example. It is said that “example isn’t the main thing, its the only thing.”
So when it comes to the family who should we be following? Well I have learned that you better at least follow Christ. The bible commands us to: “train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6) People have different personalities and likes and dislikes. We have to make decisions all the time. Sometimes a business decision, but in the home, family and behavior decisions are made constantly. What is right and what is wrong is always under the microscope. So the decision will always come down to: Is man (man or woman, or sometimes child) gonna be the one who sets the standard for right and wrong, or is God, or will we have no standard because we can not stay consistent to have one?
If we chose a standard that man (mother, father, or child) determines, the unsolvable problem will be that all the participants will never agree. Because all of us are sinners by nature. “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all” (Is 53:6), someone will have to RULE by force. Force usually takes value from another person. The other problem is that when someone, say the child for instance, leaves the home, the standard that was imposed by force, they usually leave behind because someone taught them you get make up your own standard and you can Rule by force.
If you chose Christ as the standard, then when the child leaves the home the standard goes with them. When a husband and or father/mother leads the home by following Christ and the Laws set fourth in the bible, he/she simply now teaches everyone the standard set forth by God. Consequentially, he/she will never have to fight for the power to be God. And since God has given him/her the authority to “train up a child up in the way…”, it would make sense we read the bible and biblical books recommended by people of sound character regularly to know how to lead our families like Christ would.
I recommend when your are trying to solve problems in your marriage or with your children (or any relationship for that matter) you seek to ask the question, “what does GOD and the bible say about this. The best book I have ever read about how to set your family up for Christ centered leadership is “Faith Driven Family by Voddie Baucham“ It was one of the books that I read subscribing to the TEAM‘s AGO (All Grace Outreach-Non profit, 501c, Mission the Team runs)
Ask yourself do you Lead your family the way Christ has commanded you. What are you teaching in your house? Do you read the bible regularly? Do you pray? In your family, do you assert your authority or God’s? Do you serve your family as Christ served his people by following his Father’s laws?
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